11 Jobs That Robots Can’t Replace
Well, we fucked up and gave all our power to technology, and now all our jobs are mostly done by Robots. What the hell are we going to do now? Write articles on how much that sucks? Well yes…
Here’s a list of job that those pesky machines just won’t be able to do as well as us:
1 Creative Arts
There’s one thing we can’t program the robots to do and that is coming up with something entirely original. See, machines are good at finding information and using it to make something similar. But they just don’t have the passion and emotion that’s needed to write a piece of poetry so touching you cry or a dance performance so intricate and personal that it reminds you of the time you were obsessed with something embarrassing in your childhood like collecting rocks.
Everyone might say hey why robots can’t teach, we already use the internet for gaining information! But you’re forgetting that all the information on it was, in the end, researched and written by a human. Plus there’s a connection that needs to exist between a teacher and students in order to inspire them to learn. Body language plays a crucial part in engaging the students. Robots can’t do none of that yet.
3 Politicians and Legislators
Yes, you need someone objective and really smart but why would anyone vote for someone who doesn’t understand the human condition? In this dark world of today, we need leaders with empathy and compassion. We need them to know our pain so that they understand why they need to solve the problem.
Robots can mimic us and even give us a false impression that we’re not alone, but we will always need a human who knows the right way to comfort us. So when robots reign over, shrinks are still gonna be making big dollars. We need caring humans with compassion, flexible psychological techniques, and a nice sofa to confront our problems and feel better about ourselves.
Robots can’t create a story out of thin air like a human high on weed or a love-struck teenager can. Writing stories is about creating scenarios, which everyone can relate to and learn something from. The only message robots are capable of giving us is 1001010. And if that’s not a hot guy’s number then I ain’t interested. See no robot can come up with a joke that lame.
Animals are already really hard to treat at the vet’s office, and if cold machines start handling them, they might freak the fuck out and never trust us again. So luckily, humans will still be in demand for treating your pets of the weird shit they get themselves infected with.
7 Anthropologists and archaeologists
Studying human life is something humans will be better at than robots, because you see centuries from now, only a human can successfully know what a sock on the doorknob means as opposed to robots with limited knowledge.
I don’t get art. It’s all confusing colors for me. But some people can accurately measure how good a piece of art is and show it to the public who can pretend they’re cultured by staring at it.
9 Speech-language pathologists
Imagine if, in the king’s speech, the doctor helping the king out was a robot. We wouldn’t have gotten that historic movie moment where Colin Firth is yelling, “Fuck! Balls! Tits!” at us on the screen. Humans know which method to adopt with different people with the same problem. Robots can’t adapt.
10 Human resources managers
Obviously, as the name suggests, this job will only work for humans who know how to quiet down the complaining workers who spend too much on Facebook. Having a human face lie to you and say “We care about you” is a much nicer delusion than a robot saying “Please Stop slacking off Susan! our numbers are down by 43%.”
11 Computer Systems Analysts
Ironic as it is, the software of the robots that is going to take over will have to be maintained and updated by humans who created them in the first place. Robots run on programs and someone needs to write those programs, and only a human can do that.